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Help for the Unfaithful: Coping with shame

Coping with shame is key to your health in recovery from infidelity

Reading Time: 5 minutes I’m just going to say it. Shame is omnipresent in response to and in recovery from infidelity. It’s unavoidable. It’s unavoidable for the betrayed spouse and it’s unavoidable for the unfaithful spouse. Learning. Coping with shame is difficult but it’s also transformative. I’d like to share with you I’ve learned how to improve my coping…

Help for the betrayed: How to help your spouse talk about their affair

How to help your spouse talk about their affair

Reading Time: 7 minutes “How do I get my partner to talk about their affair?” is one of the most common questions I’ve read from betrayed spouses on our Instragram page. My wife has certainly banged her head against the wall asking that very question. I’m going to take this opportunity to share some insight on how to help…

Help for the unfaithful: Talking about the affair

Talking about the affair will transform your recovery

Reading Time: 6 minutes I’m an unfaithful spouse. I empathise that talking about your affair is horrendously difficult. However, I also know that talking about the affair has been transformative to my wife and I’s recovery. My wife’s already written some excellent words about disclosure here (see this link). I believe there’s more on the way. I’m going to…

But what if he had a “real affair”?

affair, infidelity, emotional affair, physical affair, sexting

Reading Time: 4 minutes My husband had an emotional affair. Then I was asked this question. It sparked this post. What if my husband had a “real affair”? Indicating that his emotional affair couldn’t possibly be as serious/hurtful/harmful as a physical one. Now this whole blog has been about my husbands emotional affair and the impact it’s had on…

Limerence and affairs are a toxic cocktail

Limerence will harm your recovery. Turn around and put it behind you in the past

Reading Time: 9 minutes Today’s post is about limerence and affairs. Like most (if not all) unfaithful spouses, I experienced limerence during my affair. Similarly, I expect most (if not all) unfaithful spouses, like me, experienced limerence during the end of our affair. Let me assure you: limerence and affairs are a toxic cocktail and they will harm your recovery.…

Unfaithful spouses: Take personal responsibility for your affair

Do something great and take personal responsibility for your affair

Reading Time: 6 minutes This is a call to action for all unfaithful spouses determined to reconcile and rebuild their marriages: take personal responsibility for your affair. You had the affair. You cheated on your spouse. Your affair created the pain they’re experiencing right now and you may well be causing your spouse further pain and trauma. It’s up…